Confession from a bride-to-be: I want to eat my wedding cake.

I cannot say I’m an innocent person. When I go to weddings I rate everything that I am seeing. I commend the bride for her efforts but I can still see gaping holes in her carefully thought out day. Mostly, I think about the food and those bridesmaid dresses and then if I’m really ruthless I’ll jump to the bride. It is usually all about her dress. Occasionally however, I let it slip, “she looks great” or “she lost SO much weight!” I don’t think about it–I normally just say it.   

For the first time throughout the wedding planning process, it dawned on me today that I will look the way that I currently look for our wedding. There’s no more time to shed 40 pounds or change my hair drastically–this is it. I felt the urge to workout hard. I mean look at me? And then I wondered: what is this? Who decided that brides need to look their absolute best? It is my hope that most women are marrying men who care for them outside of their curvy butts and toned biceps. But even so, we still submit to this pressure as if it’s okay. What does it mean for us as women to “look our best” on our wedding day. Because for me, I am beginning to realize that looking our best, perhaps means looking our happiest, our most joyful, our most excited, our most everything else but extremely thin. For heaven sakes, I paid for the wedding cake–I wanna eat it. 

I have this wonderful set of friends. This summer, the majority of us–five to be exact–will say our wedding vows. And I can tell you, this planning time has not gone without major comparison. One night I can remember leaning over to someone whispering, “she lost 10 POUNDS! I am so jealous.” This is where it starts. Comparison. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  He’s right. I compare. I’m not happy with my body, so I look to size up other’s around me–because hopefully this will affirm me. And when it doesn’t, I spiral into binge diets, into too many daily workouts, into bodily punishment that is rooted in hate.

This isn’t healthy, and this isn’t fair to either my body nor myself. Letting go of comparison is just the beginning of a healthier self and quite honestly a happier marriage. As we act as participants in this wedding image (the perfect you on your perfect day) I believe we are submitting ourselves to a far greater danger than we could have anticipated.  

This is why, I believe in one woman’s mission to change our perspective about our bodies. Her goal is create a documentary that teaches women about love–for ourselves. I cannot think of anything better to spend our money on. In light of this conversation, I’d like to invite you to engage. Or as Taryn Brumfitt has explained–to Embrace. Let’s pull the rug from under our pressured selves. Let’s embrace our bodies and position ourselves in love and no longer in hate. Let’s rid ourselves of this comparison and let’s go eat our wedding cakes.  

For a link to her video click here.

#reading #writing #lessons